"Disaster Movie": The Title Says It All

My headache returns. I start getting jittery. I anxiously look at the clock constantly. No, nothing's wrong with me. It's just that I was watching the latest Friedberg and Seltzer "spoof" film. I put the word spoof in quotations, because it's less of a spoof and more of just a way to incorporate every single pop culture reference and latest movie into a film. To put it in layman's term: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!

What a shitload of fuck! Why do they keep cranking this garbage out? It's not even funny. They just keep torturing us. JUST STOP IT ALREADY!! Friedberg and Selter wouldn't know a spoof film if it jumped up their ass and laid eggs in their colon.

This latest barf-fest is about a group of teenagers, who, while having a sweet 16 party for their 25-year-old friend, witness the world coming to an end, combined with asteroids and tornadoes. The main character, Will (Matt Lanter), claims he had a dream (which was an opening flashback in 10,001 B.C.) where Amy Winehouse told him the world would end and that it had something to do with the Crystal Skull (which here looks more like molded snot). So, Will and his friends set out to find it. Will is also searching for his girlfriend, who's trapped at the museum.
What makes this even more sad is that a few of the teaser posters were actually clever. Although they decided to spoof posters from other movies as well, the ones that were actually spoofed off of disaster movies were kinda funny. Why couldn't the movie be like this? Why all this crap? Everything from Enchanted to Indiana Jones to The Dark Knight is made fun of, all to no effect. You know it's bad when you check IMDB and after only being in theaters for less than a week, it's rated the No. 1 worst movie ever made. This movie is what you'd find if you were to look in the port-a-potty's next to the chili-dog eating contest.

1 star